This is actually something that my alter, Rocky said about his brother Steve, which I changed into some sort of form lol.

I thought this up kind of whilst watching the fireworks…i had a vision of standing there, people watching fireworks…while my alter (JJ) was surrounded by smoke…hes looking at his red all stars and hes so lost in dissociation that he isn’t really all there…no one notices him either( I guess that’s just how he feels about himself)…but hes happy because hes not feeling the pain of his past…

Ok this isn’t very me…but i’m back feeling alot of things I know I can’t make you understand…back in that place again… I have wrote some poems before I started feeling this way again that I have still to add, so don’t think that all the poems I add for a while are going to be all ( or whatever.

Another about Rocky (an alter)

This one is about a guy that has been rejected by the people in his life because they do not understand him…so he creates more alters and jumps into the land of dissociation because he has nothing worth trying for, living for, yet his natural instinct is to stay alive…and this is his way..and although his alters can take over sometimes and try to make him kill himself….it is survival, it is how he copes and he doesnt plan on stopping.

This is kind of an insight into my childhood. Things I take as real in my memory although no one else saw them, the voices, personalities, dissociation, etc after having my brain tumour. Being alone and being obsessed with hurting myself it felt good…the only thing that really intrigued me was Val Kilmer in Tombstone, especially when he goes to fall off the horse, one of the best things I had ever seen from this side of my reality.

This is basically about living with severe dissociation and not really belonging to anywhere and falling back into addiction because of it. The picture is Valtiel- he is from Silent Hill. Basically his purpose is watch over the birth of God. He is an attendant of God.

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Not really a poem, just a bit of crap about dissociative identity disorder with things I grew up with blah blah.

This is a poem based on a song by The Automatic… my own take on it I guess. The song is about escaping a small town and going back and not fitting in any more…having moved on. Lyrics are at the bottom.