Shit.

Shock holds me hostage.

Sometimes, once the love is gone, there’s no getting it back.

A poem that I just had some fun with, I had a lot on my mind when I wrote it and I needed to vent.

So, let us fight for peace and resist war. Peace is all we need to live well and a healthy lifestyle. When you walk in New York City from one end of the city to the other you feel welcomed from the train station up to Wall Street where many souvenirs come to your memories.

You seem so distant.

Life isn’t always sunshine and butterflies.

People with disorders are slaves to them… No matter what we do, they will always be a part of us. We may be able to control or minimize them, but you can’t turn a flower into a fish…

During the 1980’s and “90″s a number of western citizens were kidnapped while working in the Lebanese city of Beirut, one of the men responsible for securing the release of many of these was also held hostage, he was held for over four years.

Today, knowing what I know and the experiences of the past three years, would I have said Yes? Yes, he pushed me from the moving car deliberately in an attempt to kill me. I think that would have been easier to live with than the fear and pain I face daily. Had I said he pushed me, I would have been able to escape sooner than thirtenn months and the chances for prosecuting him would have been greater rendering him unable to continuie victimizing. I was not his first victim. He has had so many other victims across the country that I know about both by his own admissions and those that came forward– in North Carolina, California, Alaska, Florida, on open waters, in the air — all unable to successfully prosecute him. I do want to be his last victim.