What do you call a teacher who is an expert on bats? Batman, of course.

One of the most interesting characters I’ve ever met was my high school biology teacher, Mr. Gunyer. He was a tall, skinny man with black hair that stuck out at odd angles. He had thick glasses. He was a nerd’s nerd. He was, also, one of only two bat experts in Missouri at the time. The students called him Batman, of course. What else would you call a teacher who was an expert on Bats? I learned a lot from Mr. Gunyer, though he was unorthodox.

The high school was an old, large brick building that sat on a hilltop. The Science room was on the third floor. It was a very large room as it was the classroom/lab. One side was set up as a conventional classroom with student desks and the other side contained several very long wooden tables. Each lab team of two had a microscope which was kept in a built in supply cabinet. Along the back wall were several refrigerators full of bats. The refrigerators simulated a cave and the temperature inside was set to allow the bats comfortable sleeping quarters. Mr. Gunyer came to the school every night to open the windows and the refrigerators so the bats could hunt.

Mr. Gunyer’s marriage broke up while I was in his class. I do not believe that he ever totally understood why his wife threw him out of the house. He would sometimes talk about his marital troubles. It seems the final straw for her was the day she came home and found snakes in the refrigerator. He said he was only running an experiment to see how much they slowed down at varying degrees of cold temperatures. He could not see where three or four snakes would hurt anything. The food was packaged.

There were various rumors about where he was staying. Some said he was living in the science room. I never saw any evidence of someone living there. Other rumors persisted that he was living in a cave outside of town. I always thought the cave might actually be the only motel in town. Most people called it Roach Motel. There is probably one in your hometown. It seems to be an unofficial chain.

Some students were curious about the bats in the refrigerators. I have a very vivid imagination. I did not need to open the refrigerator door to know what it looked like inside. One day someone opened one of the refrigerators. The bats got out and were flying about the classroom. Mr. Gunyer got his bat net out of a closet, jumped up on the lab tables and began leaping from table to table swinging his net trying the catch the bats.

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