Out of control, lost,
Confused, not able to breathe.
This is what I have done to myself.
It’s all me.
I need help,
I’ve lost it
This isn’t me.
I’m supposed to be soothing someone else’s crying eyes
It’ll be ok I’d say
It’s him not you.
It’ll be better after you take a deep breathe
And rest.
This is all what I would say to them
But the them is no longer them
Its me.
Its not as easy to calm oneself,
Especially for me.
I am in control or
That is I USE TO BE
Where did I go? I lost me.
I lost me amongst the relationship
I lost who I was.
But who am I?
Please tell me I need to know
But you would say,
“No, you don’t really want to see,
What a desperate person you’ve become.”
“You’re dependent, no longer independent” they say.
“Get a grip,
get over it,
you’re tough,
crying is weak
you’re so pathetic it sickens me!”
But wait…that’s not what they say
That’s what the inner me says
The inner as well as the outer.