I stay awake at night to catalog fears

My eyes are dry,
There are no more tears

I drop to my knees because I don’t know what to do
I’ve taken 12 pills and I’m still not through

With blurred vision I take ten more

It’s raining outside
I made it to the door

I stand and shout to God
“Take away my pain”
If I can stand long enough it will wash away with the rain

My mind’s on rewind, Raped, Beaten, Battered and Bruised
My heart is broken – Lied to and used

God is watching me from above, he says my child you know that you were loved

Weakness takes over, I can no longer see
I fall to the ground, my soul still not free

Lying in the grass, covered with rain
It’s still there, all the hurt and pain

God speaks down, “you are not alone”
I know you are tired, so I will take you home

All the problems, I should’ve solved them
It’s to late, what have I done?

I’ve created a permanent solution to a temporary problem.