“Maybe she gave him the Nasi Kangkang! You reckon?” Toby asked, concerned.

Toby and I were having the usual lunch hour gossip yesterday and we were speculating on an old friend, Alif, who used to have an upper-hand in any relationship, be it romance or otherwise. He was poised and cultured and with his own set of mind to think and react to every situation. He was affluent, respected and dignified. Alas, he lost it all when he befriended that one woman.

Just after a month into the relationship, which he claimed to be that of brotherly kind, Alif’s behaviour took a sudden twist. From a person with lots of pride, an egoist at the supreme level, Alif became a shameless dog. Following and abiding all the rules set forth by his new mistress. If she said “Jump!”, our man say “How high?”.

A group of us who had known him for over a decade were shocked to see the change in behaviour. None of us, nevertheless, had tried to intervene for it was after all none of our business! It had, however, crossed my mind that maybe he had taken that powerful dish once too many. The powerful dish I am talking about is, Nasi Kangkang (roughly translated to mean, rice wide opened).

Nasi Kangkang is a powerful love potion. And it is well-known in this part of the world. This dish is prepared in a special way and charmed with magic spells. It would put any man into the palms of the woman who fed him. They are goners the minute they take a mouthful and would be beyond help!

All the ladies out there who heard me, do I see it cooking in your mind already?

For the benefit of those who are still in the dark as to how this powerful potion is made, I feel obliged to enlighten you. But beware this may be offensive to some!

Well, the rice is first cooked till soft and fluffy. While it is still steaming hot, take the rice pot and stand astride and let the rising steam reach your private parts. The favorable air current around you together with lots of moisture will help with the process of condensation. The heat might sting a little or it could also be pleasurable. But whatever you do, stand directly over the pot of rice and allow as much condensation to take place and let it drip onto the rice. Now, gals, no matter how angry you are and how big a scumbag he is, no pooing or peeing in the pot. It just doesn’t work that way.

After the basic ingredients are added, an appropriate incantation and other technicalities of the mumbo-jumbo of black magic will be performed. The Nasi Kangkang is now ready to be served to your men! The moment they consume the rice, they’ll be the exemplary husbands/partners who will work their butt out solely for you and, ceased to have eyes for other women.

Sorry, guys, no male version of the spell is available!

Dinner’s ready!!!!