There was once an enchantress who lived in a quaint little cottage with a garden that of which was her pride and joy.

Now it just happened that she had neighbors, a young couple. Now, for years, they had tried in vain to have a child (she only knew this for walls and windows back in those days were not sound-proofed). However, because of their loud fornication, the enchantress found it difficult to ignore and could not sleep on the weekends, Wednesdays and the occasional Monday.

Frankly, she was quite jealous and after a four day holiday near Christmas time, she decided to take immediate action.

When spring made its yearly rounds, she prepared a magic plant using her knowledge in Herbological-Alchemic Engineering to create a plant that would, upon glimpsing it, would cause the victim to have a redoubtable desire to gorge oneself upon it. Having finally succeeded in creating the seeds of the plant, she planted them in her garden. Turning her eyes, the plant immediately grew from the ground and caught the attention of the wife who for some reason was looking out into the enchantress’ garden (perhaps wondering why she could not create a garden as wonderful and well-kept as the enchantress–in fact, her garden was bare of life; it seemed her plot was simply infertile, or perhaps her seeds were impotent).

After seeing the rapunzel, the wife immediately came under the spell and did not desire to eat anything else. Soon enough, she began to starve and after a few “quiet” nights, the husband noticed and began to show concern.

He badgered her incessantly until she gave in and told him her desire. Though initially reluctant to oblige, he felt it was worth risking his neck for a handful of vegetables.

Both he and his wife could not wait any longer, so in the dead of night, using his manly strength, he scaled the high wall surrounding the enchantress’ garden, quickly ripped the rapunzel from the dirt, raced back, climbed the wall, and met his wife who was waiting for him: salad bowl ready and mouth salivating. Since she could not afford time to cook and clean them, she immediately devoured them raw. To this day, women everywhere call them “salads.”

For his bravery and heroism, the enchantress had another sleepless night.

In the morning, the enchantress groggily wandered into her garden only to find a huge piece of up-turned dirt and foot prints leading from the wall and back towards it from the direction of her neighbor’s house.

Needless to say, it was obvious the couple had taken the bait.

Like any proper object of addiction, the rapunzel, instead of quenching the wife’s appetency, only made it worse. Once more, in the dead of night, the husband scaled the high garden wall. Unfortunately for him, the enchantress was sitting placidly in a lawn chair waiting for him.

Now it is one thing to be caught thieving by the person who one is stealing from, but it is an entirely different playing field to be caught by an old angry bitch of a lady who is tired from lack of sleep and has magic powers.