Snow White. They sure can make stuff up! Completely inaccurate! It’s sick what they have kids reading these days, it’s all full of lies. If you wanna know the truth, read on.

First of, Snow White was butt-ugly. B, the queen was nice. Fourth of all, there were only three dwarfs. And D, The mirror? Please it was a crystal ball. Everyone knows mirrors are not magic. So now we have a few facts straight, we can begin.

In the castle, we find Snow White putting on make up to make her self better looking. Meanwhile the queen is trying her hardest to find a spell that will transfer her divine beauty to Snow White who has a much longer life ahead of her. This was to be a surprise to her. One day the queen looked in to her crystal ball (not mirror) and said “tiny, little crystal ball, who will be fairest of them all”. The ball told her it would be Snow White after the spell. Snow White over heard and couldn’t wait so she took matters into her own hands. She ran off into the forest to find the three magic dwarfs. Ma, Gi, and Cal. She saw them sitting around a stone eating lunch and wanted to employ there services. Everyone knew they were evil and liked to hurt people. They told her they must get her the heart of a hunter in order to perform there magic. SO she went to the castle to find the hunter. She brought him to the woods and pulled out ther knife. The hunter was confused. just before she stabbed him thought she told him to run away and that she couldn’t do it. He left, still confused. Snow White decided to bring them the heart of a pig. She couldn’t kill a pig either, so made one out of paper.

She showed it to them and they bought it. They went on with there magic spell. Snow White took the beauty early, but since the queen was pure of heart the spell back fired and she was turned into an evil dragon. A handsome prince slew her and her body fell of a cliff. The prince married Snow White and pretended none of this happened.

 They three dwarfs cloned them selves through magic and retired to the coal mines (not diamonds) and the prince and snow white lived happily ever after. The crystal ball tried to roll himself out of the abandoned castle so he could help others but forgot about the edge of the table and shattered on impact. But every one in this story who lived had a happy ending. Except the hunter. He fell into a gorge and his legs went into his stomach. He is lining, but only from his chest up.

I have no witness for this, only the papers hidden in a box that Snow White wrote to record everything that happened. She thought no one would find it but I did. Now every one will know her secret. Of course you have to trust me. You do trust me right?