Q1. Why red and blue? there are so many colors to choose from, why only these two? Be careful Superman, Bulls hate red colour, and we don’t want the destroyer of destruction and chaos to sit at home with a leg fracture…because a bull ran over him.

Q2. No mask? All the other superheroes have masks, we can’t you have. Did your cleaning lady throw it because she thought it was some pathetic fancy dress costume? Or have you chucked out your power to imagine a simple mask for yourself?

Q3. Clark Kent? Of all the names introduced to this earth(i believe the count to be 57*10^435), who gave you this name? the African tribe of Mozambique, or the locals of Amazon forest? A simple name like Ivanhoe or Washington or Nelson Mandela would do good.

Q4. Kryptonite? What happens when you come close to Kryptonite? Do you get seizure attacks? Diarrhea and laryngitis at the same time(that must be painful, it happened to my friend…he wasn’t able to cry out when the tissue roll finished or water was not coming from the flush)? Or do you just get freaked out with the green colour(I really get freaked out too, but only when i have to eat those greens )  

Q5. 1-girl man? There are around 2 billion girls who chant “Superman, be mine”(including my 60-year old neighbor). But you had to go after the dullest, most boring girl ever produced on this planet- Lois Lane(Is that a name? That sounds like the address of my pen pal’s house).

Q6. Where do you do the laundry? Do you have a special machine imported from Krypton? Or do you wash it with your hands of steel?

Q7. How big is your house? Owing to the fact that you are superman, you must be having the keys of White House? But since you prefer wearing glasses and a mangy suit…………

Q8. Throw away Daily Planet top. We all know that rusted huge sphere which sits on top of the Daily Planet building, and the countless times it fell off, people start screaming and crying, and just when that darn thing is a nanometre away from your nose, superman comes and catches it. Do us a favor, and chuck that thing away, the scene is too repetitive.

Q9. Personal anatomy. How many hearts do have? do you have a stomach for digestion? Is your rib cage made up of 12 or 14 bones? Do you breathe with your ears or your tongue? Do you have a pair of testicles, or is everything in you made of steel?

Q10. Where’s the rust? You are the man of steel, right? So how do you prevent your body from getting rusted? Is that the reason oily food is your favorite type of meal? 

Q11. Planet of steel? You are made of steel. so that means your krypton and its inhabitants were made of steel. So how did your planet get destroyed? Did your whole world go on an alcoholic spree and started destroying the planet?

Q12. Kill Lex. Do you know where most of your problems start from- Lex-Corp. Why don’t you just finish that old baldie and get on with life? If you’re not so interested in killing, at least send him to north pole(i heard that Eskimos have found the remedy to baldness)

Q13. Are you gay? No, nothing specific. Just asking, for curiosity’s sake. Don’t look at me like that, you might vaporize me with your laser beams. 

Q14. I was waiting to keep this till the end, but the excitement is killing me…WHY DO YOU WEAR YOUR RED UNDERWEAR ABOVE YOUR BLUE STOCKINGS?

Q15. IQ? What’s your IQ level? Considering the fact that your archenemy (who has no super power other than a bald head) is still at large, that you are in love with a girl who wouldn’t recognize the Clark Kent as Superman, even if this fact is dancing around her naked yelling “CLARK KENT IS SUPERMAN”, and the bizarre fact that a green rock scares him to death puts my assumption to an IQ of 50-60.                                                  Who said aliens were intelligent