It’s the end of the world as we know it right?That’s what They’ve been saying since the whole y2k turned out to be nothing.Who are They and what do They know that you don’t?Well,if They knew what I was about to tell you, They’d have me killed.But I must warn the world!

  The world is going to be okay for the most part of the year.There will probably be natural disasters and the normal human suffering,but nothing out of the ordinary.Then,in November,They will make sure that Newt Gingrich gets elected.Newt is the great Satan himself,just ask Bill Clinton.I’m not saying you have to be Republican to be the Devil,but it doesn’t hurt.The main point is that the election will bring certain prophecies to fruition.

  And then all Hell literally breaks loose in December when Ragnorak occurs.

  Remember the Aztecs,the Mayans,and the so-called fictional Atlanteans?They all disappeared a long time ago,leaving behind mysterious calanders that predict the end of the world(I ‘m not sure about Atlantis,They wouldn’t let me in that part of area 51),there’s a reason for that.The ancient South Americans were visited by the same aliens who showed up in Egypt,you know,the ones with all the animal heads and wot not.Well,they were able to smooze their way onboard the mothership,unlike the Egyptians,who started assuming that the Pharoahs  were gods for some reason.The aliens don’t like pretentious people any more than I do.

  Right around the start of December,the scientists will detect a strange object racing towards Earth.That object would be the mothership,with the ancient civilizations in tow.Of course,you might think the Aztecs and Mayans and Atlanteans(oh my!)would be extinct by now,or at least not carrying a few thousand year old grudge.Nope,for them they’ve only been gone a few years.I know it’s hard to believe and I couldn’t grasp the whole wormhole/time travel concept that one of Them explained to me one drunken night.You’d be amazed at how tight lipped these  secret society types can be.

  Anyway,the Old Ones,as They call them,will arrive December 23rd,just as Atlantis rises out of the ocean(I never found which one).No one’s really sure what this means for us initially,but everyone pretty much agrees it’s not good.My guess would be that the aliens are actually demons and the Old Ones sold their souls to fight in the apocalypse, that would support the fact that Newt Gingrich was the devil,I mean the devil’s not going to show up for no reason imparticular right?

  With superior technology and an army of demons and crazed former South Americans,Gingrinch will enslave the human race,forcing all to do his bidding.His reign will last roughly one hundred years according to most doomsday enthusiasts,and I for one am not going to argue with Them,They don’t like to be contradicted.

  Then,just as a generation of humans have died underfoot of evil,there will be a strange sight in the sky.Is it a bird?Is it a plane?I’m not sure to be honest with you.

  My cover was blown at this point and I had to flee for my life.They are on to me,I’m really not safe no matter where I go.I’m hoping to get this warning out before they find me.I don’t know how much time i have le