I stride across the room to my fridge, stomach rumbling a devlish growl. Slowly, I open the fridge, bearing it’s delightfully delicious contents before me…

Well, it would have been delightfully delicious, had I remembered to go shopping last monday. I peered around in the empty vast depths of my fridge, and wondered what I could concoct from the remaining jar of Apricot Preserve, half a pack of shredded cheese and a rather unidentifiable box of takeaway that I was sure i had thrown out three weeks ago.

Deciding against a Apricoty-Cheese filled Something-arother, I headed to the door, grabbing my keys on the way.

I make my way down the driveway, to my car, and start the incredibly short journey to the corner-store. The moment the car starts, the radio blast talk radio at me, and I make a rapid dash to shut it off.

When silence falls over the car, I feel a stare on the back of my head, and notice an elderly neighbour staring at me, with a look of distaste. I make a childish face at him, and reverse out of the driveway, heading to the store.

I reach the corner-store and park in one of the many available spots, shutting off my car. I stride briskly in the store, with the intention of grabbing a few things and getting out, convincing myself I will not fall prey to the store’s schemes to steal all my money with diversionary tactics.

With a quick movement, I grab one of the baskets from the pile and step through the metal barrier, into the produce section. After wandering for a moment, I ponder to myself whether I should get some fresh fruits and vegetables, remembering all those health adverts to eat good food.

I pick up an onion, staring at it with distaste. The papery, shedding skin begins to crumble under my fingers and I get a whiff of the eyewatering stench hidden beneath. Reeling in disgust, I drop the onion back on the pile and decide to move on.

Heading into the refridgerated section the wall of immediate cold hits me, making my hair stand on end. Deciding I don’t like this isle, I reason I should move on as fast as possible.

Slowing my stride, and browsing through the available meats and refridgerated products, I settle on a spot somewhere between the beef and lamb section, and pick up a tray of beef ribs. I turn them over in my hands, inspecting the package.