A funny thing happened to me today when driving into work – and well of course the result was that my mind wandered into avenues of weirdness that not even I comprehend fully.
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A funny thing happened to me today when driving into work (and no, I wasn’t attacked by a group of naked pigmy clowns riding purple poodles). I was idling at the traffic lights when I became suddenly alerted by a strange beeping noise the car engine was making. Immediately thoughts of dread and despair filled my mind…the pistons are beeping and about to explode, the crank shaft is beeping and about to explode, the god damn sump is beeping and about to explode. I then realised in stupid relief it was the friggen pedestrian beeper thingy to let deaf people know when to cross the road. I then thought to myself why the heck do they make a beeper thingy for deaf people? They can’t even hear it! Deaf people can just use the little pedestrian light thingy instead. They would be better off making a beeper thingy for blind people, but then they are friggen blind aren’t they – they have no business crossing the road – it’s friggen dangerous. For deaf people they should instead make a big boot that comes out of the traffic light pole and kicks them in the arse when it’s time to cross the road. People are so friggen stupid. I looked to the cosmic consciousness for answers to the obvious stupidity and found none – an ethereal contractor had cut the main line to the cosmic consciousness and my mobile phone did not have enough battery power to establish a backup path via my Bluetooth connection.
It then occurred to me – I shouldn’t have to be thinking about these things myself. It is beyond me singularly to fix the world’s problems and I needed a group of extraordinary peers with which to discuss these issues…and there is much to discuss. For instance, it is of paramount importance that we know regarding the CERN Large Hadron Collider (LHC) that if when it is finally activated and half the world disappears into a singularity – what would happen to planet earth? Assuming mass and energy is conserved, the earth should remain in orbit around the sun as it currently does; but would it spin as normal or would the half earth and the earth singularity orbit each other in a cosmic dance of bizzarness. With the earth core exposed would the core then cool down…would the magnetic field then collapse and would we then be fried by the cosmic rays of the sun? BUT what if mass and energy is not conserved, and half of the earth is transported into a parallel dimension? What would happen then? I think that since momentum has been reduced we would be sucked into the sun, and not flung off into deep space towards Nibiru. I can’t make this determination alone – I need a group of extraordinary peers.
Ha! Hehehehahaha .. get that into ya 11778!! I love chocolate .. and I don’t mind the taste of s—n .. “..That women demand a daily serving of chocolate straight from the pump..” ~ 2nd wish .. the pump should come with a rolling pearl bead insert [which makes the pump feel like it has a pulse] .. 3rd wish .. and the pump should also have an extra 6 cm that will tickle the hard to reach erogenous zone 
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