This article is done in the same fashion as Jonathan Swift’s, but with a different and more modern focus. Keeping in mind that this is a satire, I just want to add a disclaimer that this is not meant to be taken seriously, and I am not saying that we should pull the plug on elderly people.

Modern science has brought this country into a state of dumbfounded chaos. We have advanced so far in medicine that people are leading unnaturally long lives, filling the later years of which with countless hours and dollars in medical attention. Much time and money has been spent prolonging the one and only certainty in life: death. When people first started developing these technologies, they didn’t give much thought to the negative impact such practices could have on our country economically. Perhaps they had family members who were growing old that they wanted to spend a few more years with. Emotionally, it makes sense, but practically, it makes none. We spend billions of dollars each year revitalizing people who are no longer able to provide any service to the economy that felt compelled to keep them alive. Instead, they will require continual services throughout the remaining years that we have given them, bleeding the economy dry.

Stemming from this already widespread issue arises a multitude of other concerns. The misdirection of funds and resources perhaps being the most prominent. Along with the increased life expectancy of American citizens comes a line of sciences and products of its own. It boggles the mind to think that we may have found a cure for cancer or aids by now, but were too concerned making sure that the elderly could still get erections. Perhaps if these same scientists had devoted their time elsewhere, we wouldn’t have people dying at age 20 of cancer, but apparently it’s more important that we have erections at age 80 than to be alive at 20.

It’s hard not to think at times that keeping people alive so long was someone’s sadistic idea of population control. Maybe it’s easier to control the population when we have people driving who can no longer think or see clearly. They’re bound to take someone out eventually, perhaps someone younger who still had an entire lifespan yet to live. That may be why we don’t require yearly testing after people have reached a certain age. The young truly are the ones who suffer most at the hands of the elderly. We reluctantly pay our social security taxes knowing full well that these people will have used it all up before we ever see a dime of those funds. Hospitals are no better, as they will forgo an operation on a younger person to conduct the same operation on an elderly individual who had better insurance. While the elderly prosper, it’s the young who suffer.

My proposal is nothing more than an idea, which will hopefully be implemented by those with better organizational skills than I. I propose that we cease medical attention when it’s apparent that such attention will yield little to no favorable results. Perhaps we could set an age limit to where medical attention is required, after which we allow nature to take its course. However the plan is implemented isn’t quite as important as the plan itself which, if conducted properly, will save the economy billions of dollars in medical expenses, and will help control our exponentially growing population. We have no right to continue playing God with human lives, keeping people alive past their time, the last few years of which often being accompanied by constant pain and frequent medical attention. Perhaps many of these people would also agree, the ones who wish for no further attention yet don’t have the heart to tell their families that they are ready to die.

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