A Zen Experience

So off I go the clouds on my mental screen and here comes the clarity which I do nothing to have, I just let it be what it is. It’s a seemingly slow day and I recognize my creations by their faces of judgment. An old friend of my Dad’s, a police officer as well comes to the front gate out of the blue as does everyone else around these parts.

I greet her half heartedly and hold the dogs so that she can pass, and with her comes the usual talk of “ what is he doing with his life”, “why doesn’t he have a job etc.” and so on I go into my meditation in my room but still hear the traces of noise and chatter from the outside world. I block it out once again and then I realize it is my nephew Jayden as well and though I want to see him it is way too much of a sacrifice to go out there and deal with that sort of mental torture.

I remain in contentedness in the confines of the room and go deeper within. An hour passes and I arise at the sound of the ringing phone at my side in expectation of my lover’s call, when I realize it is a friend of my mom’s by the name of Arlene who is all too persistent. I go out, hand the phone to my mom and let her know that it is
Arlene and she “gears up” and goes in for the call reluctantly.

I walk out to the yard and see the grass in its fullness; the dog stares me in the eyes in love and looks at me as if he sees a number of beings around me. I inhale it and go into a state similar to my childhood states of Zazen and see my neighbor Etty walk up the road and meet up with a girl in an orange shirt and entertain her as is the norm around here.

I walk back into the house and there is my mom on the phone and I could tell that this conversation is one she does not want to be having, so I end the call from inside and am quite happy when my mom says not to take the call if she calls back, which is just shy of twenty times by my count.

She really shows up as incredibly persistent and I see that maybe there is something to that. There is a delicate balance between persistence and abuse.

I see clearly now.

An excerpt from The Life of God as me by Gabriel Quincy Collymore

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