Yes, especially when my heart was young before.. And now, I am grown up and my heart is no longer young.. I just understand now that times change everything. Well, I may feel young but deep inside my heart I am matured and learned so many lessons from my past.

I was stunned when I received a reply from the man that I been looking for since when I was 14.. I really don’t know how I feel, excited? Bloody hell!!! What I mean, why now? I buried and not to retain any reminiscence of him for good when I met the right man for me… But to be honest, when I read his message, I was thrilled and curious about him; it’s been ages that I never heard of him. I gave time to scrutinize myself and now I know my real feelings…. My heart forgets him already. There were no excitements but I am happy that my hard work of looking for him was never wasted.. And now, he is just a close friend of mine, no feeling that more than a friend.

I have this unusual character, well, for me now, it’s really bizarre that I am wasting my time looking for people from my past. Maybe because I am looking for an answer to those questions that I always wanted to ask or say sorry if I did wrong before it’s too late or say thank you and appreciate for the help and kindness or trying to save the good times we shared, the good friendship we had when we were young…Again, absence makes the heart forget. I tried to act like old times but I don’t have the eagerness to catch things that we both missed when we were away each other for years.

I want that feelings back, you know, that never ending chitchat, from crying to giggles and the enjoyment of each others company.. I know past is past, don’t look back and start a better friendship.. Yes, start a new friendship but cannot and never be the same like before but I am still a friend that you can lean on.

And now, I feel better, no doubt feelings, no regrets. I am completely moved-on and understand life that everything has a reason.. And most of all, I am still the person you knew.. Nothing change of my traits which I believe is good and trying to change those behavior that bad in my points of view not others point of view…