Essay on futility of seeking to be adored and adoring others.
Please. Pretty please. Pretty please with sugar on top. Adore me. By the way, I’ll adore you if you adore me. If I adore you, will you adore me?
Sometimes it astounds me how much of my life has been dominated by this kind of thinking. How many hours have I spent contriving ways to get attention? How many hours have I spent depressed when I was ignored? Such thoughts could lead me to believe that I am an alien, unlike any of my fellows. But when I look around it seems that I am not alone in this perpetual desire for attention. Apparently, I live in a world that is driven to be adored and to practice adoration of others – preferably engaging in both activities simultaneously. My recognition of this fact is neither new nor profound. Oh, how I wish it were. If I were the first to stumble on such a fundamental truth then I truly would be adored.
As usual, I was surfing the internet this morning. I ran across a video of someone lecturing on a new model for personal success. I also found a page for a consultant who claims to help organizations become more “courageous”. I almost choked on my coffee. Both individuals were at great pains to present the proper models for adoration – well dressed examples of money, fame, power and influence.
The personal success consultant had develope a “simple” eight step model for personal success built on the proposition, “You can be whoever you chose to be.” I have yet to see evidence for such a remarkable claim. Quite the contrary, I see many people bravely living within the real world constraints life places on us. Ed is a friend of mine who has cerebral palsy and this places limits on his “success”. He can “choose” to be free of cerebral palsy until the “cows come home” as we say in Arkansas. It will have little effect. He can, and indeed has, chosen to be a warm and caring person despite his difficulty. Unfortunately, this type of victory often is overlooked by those selling books or programs that claim, “You can be whoever you want,” or “The only limits to your success are your lack of will and proper planning.” Ed does not model the wealth, power and beauty required for recognition, much less adoration, in the world of personal success consultants. His is a world they, and most of a society addicted to Ayn Rand, would rather ignore.
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