Another thought – I am afraid of my own personal thoughts, of my feelings, especially of that reoccuring black shadowy ghost that smothers me when I’m in my room alone at night. For those of you who don’t know, I have ptsd, and it really just kills me sometimes. The smothering feeling and when it shakes me it makes me cry out, to whomever may be listening, if anyone, and so I cry out. I cry and scream, but no sound is made. This occurs at least 5 of 7 days in a week. Tonight will be one of those nights, I know these feelings pretty well. I know this shadow pretty well. I’m not sure who it is, though; who it is that is smothering me. Possibly a ghost, a demon, but why in the world would this demon be angry with me? What could I have done that was so bad for this black dark shadow to hate me so much, to hate me enough to sweep me up and hold me upside down and shake me, shake me until I cannot breathe? Hold my ancles, and shake, for what seems like hours, as I am crying out, but, yet again, there is no sound. What could I have done to this demon to make him feel so angry? I know it is a male, for there is no feminine qualities to this shadow, and no feminine voices; only male whispers. Male whispers that are so low, so quick that I cannot retrieve the message he is sending me. I cannot retrieve it! This angers the shadowy man, I know it must, because then he will put so much pressure on my neck that I am choked; so much pressure by what force I am unsure, but so much pressure that again, I cry out, and yet again, yes again, there is no sound.

And this is the way of the angry male shadow following me alone at nighttime.

Is There Something Wrong With Me?