I’m slowly getting back on track.

Slowly but steadily.

Although I really am not the type of person who will just give up and lay down, I guess it had to happen. Mid-life crisis maybe? In any case, this is me, this is where I’m at, right now. Getting back up, but taking my time.

I wasn’t always one to believe that you should just “let things be”. I was always the type of person who does something about everything. For whatever it is. If there’s a problem, there’s a solution. If there’s this, there’s that. Which still holds true. Only thing is, you can never force the other side of the equation. Sometimes it just comes out. Sometimes it never comes out but then at the last minute suddenly everything is clearer. Time. The best ally or the worst enemy, in whichever case, it yields a result.

I got tired of always doing things, if not doing everything. So I gave up. And let things be. Accepted defeat. Then started from there. Moved forward. And now planning to move further. One step at a time maybe. Sure the world waits for no one, by why do I have to force myself to run with the world when I’m not that ready? Sure that’s reality, but why does society have to shape what life should be and how it should be lived? Reality is really subjective, as are most things when you look at its roots. Regardless, now I’m biding my time. I won’t do nothing but I won’t force myself to do everything. Sometimes doing a little something is enough. And that’s what I’m planning on doing: walk before running. Leave it to fate? Destiny? Maybe. I’ve always been working hard on things but maybe this time it’s time to take it as it is, as it comes.

Life. It’s terribly cliche to say this but it does have its ups and downs. So what, there’s nothing anyone can do about it. All I can say is, there are definitely more ways than one to enjoy the ride.

So time to take control. It’s up to you whether you’ll allow the environment and society to shape who you are and what you want to do. All I know is, few people get to do what they really want to. And I admire them. For we are all blinded by success one way or another, to the point that we forget the things that really matter. And decide to live life as how everyone else does. To forget the childhood dreams, forget the things you want that don’t have to do with having lots of money or whatever, and in the process maybe even forget yourself.

If there’s one thing I learned, it’s that you can listen to the world, listen to the sounds, listen to others, but above all, you should listen to yourself. So go on do whatever you think is right, whatever suits you. Do it but don’t forget the things that matter. The things that you really want and need.

For sure, a person can live alone. We were born alone, and we’ll die alone. So what’s the joy in that? In a sense though, you should know, that you should focus on yourself, for everything else that’s not part of you are just sprinkles loaded to sweeten the ride. It may be an escape, it may be the sweetest thing. It’s really up to you how you see it. Individualism? Not really. More on see what you yourself should be. Discover who you are based on what you have, not on what you have with others.

It’s true that the culture, environment, and society all have parts in making you who you are, developing you, and all that. But we’re all old enough to know that we have our own choices, our own decisions to make, our own minds to think about what is right or wrong (for us), our own experiences, and all of which really determines who you are, what you want, and what you want to be.

Another thing that I have learned is that you have to be nothing in order to appreciate everything. Because as normal people we tend to overlook things. We tend to see the best thing, the happiest possibility, to the point that we don’t get to appreciate the other “small happy things”. In relevance to which we also tend to see the worst in every negative thing. Even the “small sad things” become such a big deal, because we’re so used to wanting to feel happiness all the time, instead of accepting that with happiness there is also sadness. Balance. One can’t have everything. So don’t be afraid to fall, to crash. Cause in the end, one way or another, you’d have picked up something that can and will change you.

From nothing there is everything, and from everything there is nothing.

This is what I’ve learned and this is what I know. This is what I am and from this you will see just how different Nav can be.

As Eric Cartman from South Park said: “Whatever, I’ll do what I want!”

So fuck the culture, environment, and society, fuck everything else.

Coz now I’m just going to live to see what the world and its possibilities will bring.