“Be careful what you wish for ’cause you just might get it.” This is the bridge part of a Chris Daughtry song Home. Sometimes, it just pops in my head then I would sing it. Then lately, I realized, it can be true. And that can be crazy!

I once wished to have the answers to all my questions when I was a child. Is my mother still alive? Where is she? I had wished she was alive. I had wished she would contact me. 

As an only son among 3 siblings, I had also wished to have a baby brother. And another wild wish I had was to be a black American, which of course stupid. I just envy the great talents of some famous black Americans I know. It doesn’t matter if it’s stupid because it can never be true. I though dreams are for free. So, why dream only of dreams that are confined with limitations if we can dream of infinity?  

Lately, I realized that all of those stupid wishes came true. My mother finally contacted me, confirming that she is much alive. It was supposed to be fulfilling, but I didn’t feel that way. I felt like I was betrayed. By whom? I do not know exactly. These answers were once like important pieces of the puzzle I have been trying to find. I thought having my questions answered would make me a complete person. On the contrary, they just make me feel worse. I felt more troubled, asking more and more questions. 

Another news I received from my sister, said that we have a fifth baby brother from my father’s other wife. This means, I have 7 half siblings already. I was more than shocked. Seven more!? Is this how God really grants our wishes, to give us more than what we asked for? I just asked for one true brother, and not five. It’s just way too much!

Lastly, the “Black American thing”, which seemed to be impossible, did somehow come true in a new package. My mother has a 13-year old daughter whose father was Black American. He died, though. Meaning, I have a half sister who is half Black American.

I have asked this blasphemous question “Is God playing tricks on me?” Of all my wishes, it is the stupid ones that he granted. If I’d asked a million dollars, would he really give me more than that?