In life, human beings have decisions. Decision is defined by the act or process of deciding. I’m now at a key point in my life where decision-making is imperative. To be honest, I feel in so many ways no different than I did at nineteen but at the same time, almost an entirely different person. I grew up in an environment where at this point in your life, your “supposed”to be here, and at this point, well, you really “ought” to be there. As usual, I’ve always thought outside the box, which has been tremendously enriching, but also has also made my life more of a struggle. Society does not support those who think differently, which can lead you to feel very isolated and lonely at times. Life is hard and we always have hard choices to make. Choice is defined by the act of choosing. I’ve been down different paths, have explored many avenues, and unfortunately, sometimes what I want does not match-up to what is. What I know that usually is the most useful in moving forward in life is working with what is. What is going on in my life right now? Who are the people I hang out with the most? How do I feel usually throughout the day? Does this really make me happy? Am I just following the crowd? What does my focus or attention usually go to? More than anything in my life, I wish that I had slowed-down a bit when making decisions. I’m now obsessed with making the most perfect and right decision, and usually, can lead to a big build-up of anxiety and fear. Fear of making the wrong choice, fear of regret, fear of this, fear of that. So, right now, I’m trying to decide what is the most loving choice I can make? And you know what? Those decisions are the hardest ones! Because you can let a lot of people down when you decide to walk way from something that you feel has become unhealthy for you. Or maybe you knew for a while, but lacked the courage in yourself to let it go.

One day, I arrived at my art theory class, and was feeling rather disgruntled, over-caffeinated, tired, and conflicted. One of the most beautiful girls that I had ever seen before, walked in, and presented her project. In her project she demonstrated how all human beings have decisions. Following decisions, human beings have choices. And what struck me the most, was that she wrote how people can make decisions motivated by units of fear or units of love. The end of her project said, “be love.” I burst into tears. She wrapped her arms around me and in looking at this girl, she demonstrated to me how beauty really can exist on the inside and outside. No fear, sadness, regret or conflict, was in her eyes. People cannot make decisions for you, neither can somebody else do the work for you in whatever you choose to do with yourself. Everything in life is difficult and challenging.  But in moments of duress or distress, you can always choose the most loving choice for yourself. Knowing this and being a part of that experience, was so spiritual and moving, I cannot even begin to explain it. But in that moment, I had never been so present before in my entire life. So, be love!:)