This room; it used to seem so much bigger to me. 

It’s dark, calming, and I sit in the large, cushioned futon chair, in front of the electrical fireplace.  Its spitting out hot air, and looks like a dragon spewing out fire.  (But I know it’s fake, so the effect just isn’t the same.)

I stare into this room.  This room that held every memory I’ve had since the birth of my baby brother, who my mother had when I was three. My sanctuary for thirteen years.  This room… I’d lost my first tooth in this room.  I’d hung out with friends, and talked about stupid little nothings that we thought we were important in our naive, childish lives.  I’ve hurt myself, and other people in this room, lost my virginity in this room, tried to die here. 

I look over to the vacant wall.  I used to put my bed against it as a child, and sleep all the way in the corner.  That way, when the monsters came out, they couldn’t attack me from behind.  To the windows; sneaking food and other things out the windows to get rid of them, or sneaking out when me or my brother were in trouble.  The swing set is directly outside, and I see innocent children playing, Its a fort! Its a fort! Catch the enemies, the British are coming! We protected our fortress by any means necessary. 

I used to be in bed, and the moon would shine through the blinds at night like eerie, glowing bands on my pillow and skin. I’d look outside and see the tip tops of the pine trees sway in the wind.  I heard the morning doves coo at 8:00 every single morning of the Summer, and tried every single makeup product on the planet in front of the mirror that is still behind the door. 

It’s a melancholy feeling that just won’t seem to sway.  I’m older now. I’ve passed my life by in this room, and now it is in possession of someone else.  My sanctuary.  I need to build a new one now.  A new place to be called home, a new temple.  A new place to start up a new phase of my life.