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Carol M Creasey.

                                           Bereavement is hard to deal with.

When someone you love dies, you feel it is the most devastating thing that can happen. In the case of an older person, even if you know they were ill, suddenly they are not there any more, and it’s so hard to accept. In the case of someone who dies suddenly, it is normal to wish that you had  done more for them, or told them you loved them,  it’s part of the grieving process. In time , when you can accept the loss, you will accept these feelings of remorse, as no-one can change what has gone before, or turn the clock back.   People who feel guilty when their loved one dies have not neglected them, because if they had, they wouldn’t care.

In the case of someone who dies before their time, either a baby, or young person, this is always a tragedy, and in the case of a parent losing a child, there is so much pain and regret that their child was taken before them, because it’s natural to think that a parent should not outlive their child.

It is easy to feel that you can’t understand why this had to happen, and very hard to move on, and memories of their  short life will one day be a comfort if you allow them to remain in your memory, and you cherish the very short time  you had them with you.

The most natural thing to do when you lose someone is to shut yourself away from the world because you feel you can’t cope. You dread meeting someone you know, firstly because you don’t want them to offer sympathy, as it will upset you more, and if they did avoid talking about it, you would feel that they didn’t care.

But people do care, so if you lose your partner, and you feel lost and alone, take up all the offers of invites you get, make yourself get back into life and work, it will keep your mind occupied. If you have children, remember it’s a terrible loss for them too, and show them how brave you are, and they will cope too, and your family bond will be even stronger.

Sadly  we will all be bereaved at some time in our lives, but although it feels like a long tunnel of blackness at the time, we do emerge back into the light when our minds can come to terms with it, because time does heal.