I have three boys under the age of six.  They are the light of my life.  I’d like to lay it out in a way you could understand.  You see I have this problem so to speak.  Like an equation with too many variables.  And while I always liked the preciseness in math the written word speaks to me. No pun intended. 

        OK, here it is.  I follow most of the rules.  I don’t lie, cheat, or steal.  I work very hard as a carpenter taking on some of the more physically demanding tasks because I enjoy it and unfortunately I’m not suited for much else.  My education is limited to a few semesters in college and while I can philosophize with the best of them, solve most math I encounter, trouble shoot and solve problems of any nature, as well as communicate quite clearly both orally and in text, still I cannot seem to provide my family with the life they deserve. I suppose this is the first time I’ve written about it.  I don’t know why I choose this platform and now.  Chances are this script will be tossed back into my lap with a polite what the hell is that letter and that’s fine.  I just wanted to write and see if I could make some sense of my current position.

               So one of the key factors the reason I didn’t excel academically as far back as grade school is marijuana.. Oh the sweet sweet herb.  I still love it today.  I use it now almost like you drink coffee if you only drink coffee once your kids are in bed.  And while I’m a huge  advocate of the stinky green leaf, I am the first to warn about it’s ability to lower ones inhibitions.  But that was when I was younger.  Now the drugs that hinder my potential are much better as drugs go.  I’ll leave it at that and say that yes I struggle constantly with a desire to get high.  I justify it from time to time when I’m feeling really sorry for myself.  I never really drink anymore.