Giving a 10 year old a beer.

That’s what some adults are like when given a blog.  They don’t know what to do with it.  They hold it in their hand, stare at it for a little while, and finally decide, hey this could be fun!  They start out with a few sips, the buzz hits them and their like whoopee!  Ever seen MaddTV, you know that retard that jumps up and does a sorta split and says “Look at what I can do!”  They are so enthralled with the prospect that they can post ANYTHING they want, anonymously of course, that they go a little over board.  This is when they have left the sober arena.  They post obnoxious posts, they goad others into nitpicking, they jump around on the coffe table singing “Like a Virgin” using the ham bone as a mike.  “Here, have another!”

Ten year old stares at beer, adult stares at blog.  Well, it just doesn’t seem to be so fun anymore.  Let’s make it fun!  Let’s do something outrageous that no one would ever have thunk of before!  Ten year old with a beer takes shirt off and swings it singing “Helicopter!” and tries to make a slip in slide off of the roof into the plastic pool his baby sister uses.  Adult posts some balogney, racy photo, blog attacker, totally off the wall circus ring.  Or opens a new account!  Gee whiz people let’s stir things up a little bit!  Guess what, 10 year old with a beer, been done before, your older brother did it, how do you think he broke his arm and why do you think we sent him to military school?  Adult with a blog, someone’s been there, done it before, gotten the crappy star ratings, loss of friends, totally ream out by 14 other bloggers explicitly and immensly on the popular posts.

Third round!  Let’s make this one good, alright guys?  By this time, ten year old with a beer is becoming a bit mopey, a bit tired, and really just wants his mommy.  Finds the nearest lap, pops a squat, and starts moaning and groaning about how his tummy hurts.  Get’s slobbery, snotty, ooey gooey, *wipes snsot on sleeve of aforesaid lap’s designates adult*.  Nobody likes me!  The bullies, they stuffed me in my locker and took my ice cream money.  *sniff sniff*  Finally after the barrage of negativity about the hardships of a ten year old soul, he lays down and takes a nap.  Likewise, the adult with a blog is now running down from his “HEY I HAVE A FREAKING COMPUTER LET’S JAM” high, and is starting to realize how very crappy his life is, that he has more friends on Facebook in real life, his mother was a hooker, and his dad is never around, need to go cut myself, and posts his sob stories.  Flooded email box of unwanted sympathy, friends list increase, and oh how wonderful you are for you are SO strong that you have come this far (even though we hated you a week ago, we are your best ebuddies now!)

After a peaceful nights sleep, ten year old with a beer wakes up with a killer headache.  Mommy makes orange juice, pancakes, and fruit salad.  Big brother rehashes all the totally rad moves he did last night, laughs at him cuz he puked in the toilet and peed his pants.  Who knows, might wind up on youtube.  Adult wth a blog wakes up, his indescretions are front page news on the popular posts, his new identity is tainted, and oh oh oh woe is me.

Hangovers suck.
Take two aspirins and call me in the morning.