Image via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia

There are two things I’ve been thinking of doing lately, buying a bed and self-publishing a book. My bed is over 30 years old. Don’t even ask me how old my wife is. Anyway, when I saw how much a new bed

Image by PinkMoose via Flickr

costs, I figured, in comparison, publishing my own book is not that expensive.

Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton, and Lady GaGa will soon be publishing their novels, I’m sure. Why not me?

I think that when my book is published, I will look into having gorgeous models carry it down the runway of our local airport.

I have discussed this with my writers’ group. They think I should buy a bed first.

They have also agreed that my idea of hiring scantily clad sexy women to impersonate me (a guy), would be a good idea, especially at book signings, so, I’ll need to use a fake name.

So, you see, using a fake name and hiring actresses to impersonate me at the book signing is not as vain as it could be.

I would also like to say something about vanity. St. Paul said all is vanity. I disagree, Mr. Saint. Sex is not in vain, for one thing.

Buying a bed isn’t either.