The scenario (picture yourself in each role): You call your lover on their cell phone. You are all fired up about something (whether it be angry, jealous, concerned) and you want answers now. Your lovers friends and/or family are around.

**You should not argue with your lover while they are on the phone in the presence of others. (Yes, landlines count as well)**

I say this for one main reason: when other people are around, a lot of people do not say how they feel accurately (and you feel like they are not giving you enough) or they feel the need to “show out” in front of friends and the argument escalates unnecessarily. You can either feel entitled to argue right then or you can wait til you both are in a private setting.

Some advice I give will require that the two people who love each other talk about how they will handle things when certain situations arise. Talk with your partner about how things are better if not aired in the presence of friends and families. You should not set each other up for things to be taken out of context & people to judge your relationship. Remember: people can somtimes on pick up on parts or one side of the conversation (that’s how rumors get started). Another time-tested piece of life advice: “Don’t go airing your dirty laundry!”

It may take some time to get yourself in the habit of not demanding things get settled regardless of who is around, but it will be worth it because even if you settle one problem, you are potentially creating others. Don’t think I am saying if you have an abusive boyfriend, you should lie to the family about how you got a black eye. I am just saying keep your arguments behind closed doors.

Bonus thought: closed doors do not keep kids from knowing how mom and dad feel about each other.