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Let’s start the New Year with a brand new batch of fortune cookie sayings. Hey, they can’t be all bad or can they?

1.   Riches will adorn your neighbor. You on the underhand will remain broke.

2.   A beautiful young lady will come your way and pass you by like a sack of potatoes.

3.   Expect to have a long chat with your boss and a short exit.

4.   You can expect to see a lot of attractive young nurses by your hospital bed.

5.   You may be burning for love, but all you’ll really get is a bad case of heartburn.

6.   Your gas is about to be shut off. Plan for a long, cold winter.

7.   You will be rewarded by your generosity with a reduced prison sentence for your embezelling activities.

8.   You are about to met with a flood of memories. Of course, this will not reduce the damage from the flood in your basement.

9.   Your wife and your mistress are going to meet each other at a family picnic. Expect to be barbecued.

10. Your paycheck is about to receive a severe blow from the increase required in your alimony payment.

11. You are about to see a glowing red light. Too bad you ran a stop light.

12. Your stomach is about to do backflips after eating the undercooked chicken.

13. Your boyfriend has decided to ditch you for a new model. You feel so used.