Cigarette Warnings.  A short, but personal treatise

Who are the douche bags at Health Canada that come up with these jewels of wisdom?

“Idle but deadly”

has become my own personal motto.

“Cigarettes cause Lung Cancer”

Pardon my French, but, no shit, Sherlock.  Really, do they HAVE to tell us this? Come on, we may be stupid to smoke, but we’re not THAT stupid.

“60 000 People DIE of Tobacco related deaths”

There are lies, damn lies and statistics.  This is a stat from 1986.  What have you said recently?  By the by, the same year over 500 people were murdered or and another 600 or so died in car accidents.  4000 people killed themselves.  I bet those numbers grew.  What is Health Canada doing about THOSE preventable deaths?

“80% of smokers get Lung Cancer, Lung Cancer CAN KILL Within 2 TO 3 Years”

I like those odds.  I mean at least with lung cancer you know what you’re getting.  Think of the alternatives….AIDS, suicide, murder, being mauled by wild animals, being struck by lightning….or other things even more horrific.  I s there any GOOD way to die?  AND, I would rather suffer for 2 or 3 years from pain than longer, AND lung cancer doesn’t kill all the time.  Again, I like those odds…..

“YOU are NOT THE ONLY ONE Smoking This Cigarette”

If only…..

“Children SEE, children DO”

Again, if only……

Now if I were in charge of writing warnings, things would be different, and fewer people would smoke, but then I’m not, and truth be told I like the company, but my warnings would be more to the point, like:

“OH YOU THINK YOU’RE ALL COOL SMOKING outside on the corner, BUT YOU look like a DUMBASS trying to light a cigarette IN THE RAIN, or frezzing your ass off in -20 Degree weather, with a windchill factor of -30″

Well, I don’t make the rules, so here I am, a confirmed smoker and likely to remain so.

“THANK YOU for your time”