I have an affinity for sixties music. Being the youngest of three, with siblings both a decade my senior, I have early memories of “freedom rock.”

My older sister was the epitome of the free-spirited “hippy-chick” and I’ve often envied her her birth order. That era was a time of change, revelation, and forward thinking.

That decade also came with great tragedy. Some of the most thought provoking melodies ever, emerged during those years.

Recently, on a long drive, I passed freeway time listening to the legendary Janis Joplin. Her soulful, bluesy twang never fails to move me. The lyrics of Me and Bobby McGee flowed loudly through my car…

“I was feeling near as faded as my jeans…”

I nodded absently, because I, too, have been feeling a bit “faded” lately. I found myself paying attention to verses I’ve heard countless times…

“Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose… nothin’… and it ain’t nothin’, honey, if it ain’t free…”

I began thinking about freedom, and not necessarily in the conventional sense.

What constitutes emotional freedom?

Is freedom just another way of saying, “There’s nothing left to lose?” Or is it really about not committing, so we never have to feel the pain of a loss? Or is it plain selfishness- simply not wanting to give of ourselves?

Do we run from emotional entanglements because we’re scared?

Do we settle for less than what we want because we’re scared?

A few days ago, a friend asked me if I ever miss my ex.

“I’d trade all of my tomorrows for one single yesterday…”

There was a time when that lyric rang true for me. Not so today. I don’t miss him; I miss the idea of him.

I miss the notion of a happy relationship; a home that feels like a home; connection.

“Bobby shared the secrets of my soul…”

Even so, I can admit to being scared. Scared of making the same mistakes all over again, a decade later. Scared of making wrong choices. Scared of settling, because I’m scared of going for what I really want. Scared of falling in love with a man who doesn’t want what I want.

The last five years or so, I’ve felt emotionally free. (As far as men go, anyway.) When I wore a ring on my finger, free is not how I would have described my emotional state. And I’m not referring to commitment here.

Maybe its wise to be somewhat scared. Fear can serve as a protective state of being.

But it can also be paralyzing. How to move forward is the question of the day.

Do we throw caution to the wind, knowing there is the chance of suffering yet another broken heart?

Do we live for the moment, taking whatever satisfaction it may provide?

“Feeling good was good enough for me…”

Or do we self-protect, stay on the safe road, knowing it might be a bit boring at times, but our hearts are in no danger?

“Through everything we’d done… I let him slip away…”

How does one decide which path to take? Can emotional freedom come from moments of fulfillment- however fleeting- or does it come from feeling safe?