Death stopped by for some coffee today. He ordered a 20 ounce, double-shot, vanilla latte on ice. No whip.

I never really thought such a guy would order something so…bland. I mean, really, the guy travels across the world every day. He’d have some sort of exotic tastes, at least to an extent. Wouldn’t he? A latte is one thing, but vanilla? People fear this guy?

I suggested he go for something else, with more…personality. But he shook his head.

“No thanks,” he heaved a heavy sigh. “Not today.”

“So, I guess you had a long day, eh?” Beginning the simple, non-exotic order, I pumped some vanilla syrup into the bottom a plastic cup.

“Very. Hey, is that stuff sugar free?”

He motioned towards the syrup-lined plastic cup, and I stopped. “Would you like it to be?”

“Nah, the more sugar, the better.” At least he’s got some taste.

Death continued.

“You know the old lady who lives in the tiny house on 24th with all those cats?”

“Oh, I’m sure I do.” I could feel his gaze, watching as I pressed the coffee grounds and began pulling his shots.

“She’s been rescheduled at least ten times since October, so I paid her a long overdue visit today. I got the job done alright, but I wasn’t expecting her nephew to be coming by.”

“Did he say anything?” I scooped ice into the cup, reached for the fresh brew, and poured it over the ice.

“He was astonished, for one, and upset. Apparently his aunt owed him quite a bit of money. He tried to reason with me to bring her back. Luckily I received an unexpected call from England.”

“What was up over there?” My arms reached for the milk from the fridge and poured it into the iced coffee. I stirred the drink and reached for a lid.

“Some doofus decided he could climb Big Ben. I proved him wrong.”

“People like that are wastes of cells anyways.”

“Tell me about it. After that I zoomed over to Africa.” He shook his head slowly, in dismay. “Lost another one to AIDS.”

I clicked the lid onto the cup and sighed. It must really suck for him to know who is going to die, when, and how. That’d be like passing someone on the street and knowing that in four seconds, they’d be flat as a pancake underneath a semi-truck, and not being able to prevent it. It’s their time to go. You can’t fight Nature, even if you happen to be Death.

“It’s a too bad that there’s no cure.”

Popping a neon-pink straw into the lid for excitement, I handed Death his latte. I’m sure he didn’t notice the pop of color. He gave me $3.75 even, which I promptly put into the register. I watched as he took a long sip of the beverage, savoring the taste dancing around his tongue.

In the few seconds it took for the latte to slip down his throat, I witnessed complete wave of serenity wash over him. His brow relaxed, and his eyes calmed. His shoulders became less tense, and he exhaled slowly, a faint smile spreading across his lips.

I know that expression like the back of my hand.

Addiction is often calmed with the simplest of remedies.

After taking another sip, Death continued.

“I would have stayed longer, you know, to show my sympathy, but in those positions, I feel a bit awkward.”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “That’s understandable.”

“I high tailed it over to a Canadian university for some personal business.” Another sip. “It was a quick little thing. I had to pull the plug on the school network.”

“I didn’t know you could do that.” I leaned against the counter at the window.

“Technically, according to the books, I can’t. But some punks made a phony call a few months ago, so I decided they needed some karma sprinkled into their finals week.”

We laughed and he took another sip.

Yes. Payback is best served cold.

Suddenly his jacket started singing. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone, glancing at the screen.
“I’ve gotta take this. Excuse me a moment.”

He flipped the phone open and left for a few moments. I focused on cleaning up my area and restocking the refrigerator. Amidst the milk, I found myself wondering about Death. Never had I realized he had a rulebook. And just whose rules must he submit to? I thought he just followed his own.

Six or seven minutes later, Death returned, tucking the phone back into his coat. His eyes met mine, and for a moment I was lost in the life I saw within. I didn’t think Death could be so full of it.

“Traffic on Tieton is going to be backed up pretty badly later on tonight, just to let you know.”

“Oh.” I blinked away. “Thanks for the warning.”

He shrugged and smiled. “No problem. I have to get back to work now, so I’ll stop by again later.”

Death was gone in a flash, before I could even spit out anything else. I suppose he’s just not the type of guy to linger in saying his goodbyes. I wouldn’t either, if I was him.

I went back to my work, thinking about all of the places he sees day after day. I bet all of his travels have become pretty mundane by now, but I can’t help but to feel just a bit jealous of the guy. I began wondering if it would ever be possible for me to ever see even a third of them. Probably not in my lifetime, but I can dream once in a while.

Moments later, a fire engine roared down the street. Three police cruisers sped closely behind, their sirens screaming and flashing.

He certainly is a fast worker.