When I first read this Mark Twain quote, I laughed long and hard. Then I started to think about it. How many people do I know who live in denial of their circumstances or of their emotions? It was a shocking discovery. Suddenly I realized there were a lot of my friends, relatives, and acquaintances whose heads were stuck in the sand*, and I was talking to their butts for years. Well, I like their butts. Actually, what I am worried about is if they were also talking to my butt too, secretly.

I had a very strong, pragmatic mother who instilled in my sister and me to face our realities head on, and deal with our problems right away, instead of running away from them. I am not sure how much of this advice and skill I have employed through my life, but my objective has always been to be honest with myself and others even if the truth hurt badly sometimes. Then I realized that many people do not like the truth. They either do not like to hear it, deal with it or even know it. They rather live in their reality than face the facts. Then I realized furthermore that this even applies to societies, and governments. Nobody wants the truth. For them the truth is hurtful, dangerous, difficult, or hopeless. It is also pliable, changeable, or controllable in their minds.

Bill Waterston says “It’s not denial; I am just selective about the reality I accept.” Maybe this is it. Maybe it is a defense mechanism, or a survival tactic for human beings to preserve themselves. Can we really get hurt by the truth? Knowing your lover is cheating on you or you are about to be financially bankrupt…Sounds hurtful…But aren’t we hurting ourselves more by ignoring or not accepting it? My mother told me that somehow, someway, truth always comes out. So isn’t it easier to just deal with it sooner than later? Or maybe we believe that if we just keep our heads under the sand long enough, all of our problems will go away.

I have compassion for people who have to deal with painful truths such as loss of a loved one or war memories. I can understand for their desire to deny the facts in these situations. Who can blame a mother for not wanting to remember how her child died? I’ve heard of a new pill scientists were developing which will help humans be able to erase painful memories. I think a lot of people would pay good money for it, or they would get drunk or abuse drugs like the rest of the population. We drink to forget, use drugs to be numb, or eat to death. Basically, we do whatever we can to not deal with reality because it hurts.