Conversational techniques – how to hog the conversation or have a monologue with someone else.

I hate those people who start to tell you a story or recount an experience and then start to divert the narrative onto all sorts of side issues.

“…And the guy came out of this horribly mangled car with just a broken leg.”

My sister once broke her leg. You know the sister who married the solicitor. He was disbarred for cheating and nearly got 3 years in jail. It would have ruined her life if he had gone to jail.(But how did she break her leg!!) The marriage was bad enough already and it nearly ended in divorce. If it wasn’t for the kids: Joseph and Emily, it would have. Emily was really upset by the troubles and started to do really badly at school, getting into trouble, being naughty…you know. (How did she break her leg!!) Joseph hardly seemed to notice. He’s doing ever so well now. He got a 2/1 at Reading Uni and now he’s training to be a cartographer – cartographer eh?

Funny word – cartographer. Nothing to do with carts you know. It’s maps. When he was training my sister went to visit him at one of these field study centers in North Yorkshire. He said it was very scenic and that they should go and stay with him in this little cottage in the grounds of a big house. She used to go out and help him; holding sticks in a perpendicular fashion whilst he looked through telescope things. (How did she break her leg!!) Well, not telescopes, things like telescopes, but with all bits of complicated machinery attached to it to make measurements and calculations. I don’t know how they keep all that complicated stuff in their heads, do you? Well, anyway she slipped on a mossy rock in the middle of a little stream and broke her leg. They had to send for these mountain rescue people to carry her back.

Didn’t you say you knew someone who broke a leg?

Yes. In a car accident it was.

My friend’s husband had a bad car accident. He was driving home from Harrogate. I love Harrogate, don’t you? The buildings are so pretty and there are always nice flower borders. My borders have been a disaster this year. I think it was because of the cold spring. I love spring. Everything is fresh and new, like a newly decorated room. We decorated our bedroom last month. We were sick of the pattern on the walls and the boring white paint. I hate the smell of paint. It reminds me of my Dad’s paraffin stove in his greenhouse. That stunk. But he grew some wonderful tomatoes and we gave lots away. Our neighbors were ever so pleased when he came round with a big bag full. The man across the road lived on his own. His wife died in a car accident.

Didn’t you say you knew someone who died in a car accident?

He didn’t die. He just broke his leg.

Did I tell you about my sister.? The one who was married to the solicitor?