Does traditional “true love” really exist? It appears to me in our corrupt materialistic driven society, moral values, on many issues seem to be disappearing before our eyes. I’m pondering the subject of love Those butterflies in the stomach, holding hands in the park and whispering sweet nothings into each others ears on the bus…oh the innocence of “love”!!

It seems somewhere between cuddling in bed on a Sunday morning with not a care in the world, wearing only that post shag glow on your cheeks to throwing, what could be perceived as, violent objects at your so called “lover”?! A pivotal moment occurs…that of which entails the brain transforming from lusty, giddy, robust feelings to being slightly over consumed by aggressive behaviour, boredom of routine and a new found curiosity for fucking an innocent colleague!!

Ok, so everyone has little tiffs in relationships and I do understand that it is not all “a bed of roses” but how come insignificant “issues” are so difficult to resolve and continuously keep creeping up throughout the period of time the couple are together?! I mean those, previously described as “cute” “quirky” habits…like eating food louder than it was ever believed imaginable?! Or like calling you on a girl’s night out “just to make sure your ok” no less than 20 times!! They become irritating and as a result perfectly justified excuses for taking a strop and ignoring your o so cool calm and collected man for several hours!!

I would like to believe I am a tolerant young woman with the ability to communicate my way effectively through the process of resolving a problem with my man. But this, on many separate occasions, just has not been the case!!! I shout and scream, hit and throw and effectively waste all my energy on a worthless piece of shit standing in front of me laughing in such a patronizing way, that men seem to have mastered to ultimate perfection! I then spend the rest of the night, alone, resorting to pathetically clichéd romantic comedies and fueling my turbulent emotions with exceeding amounts of chardonnay!!

Love is not for the faint hearted!! I admit to being a victim of opening my heart and plunging into a partnership too quickly and too deeply so much so that when I wake up from my rose tinted image of “our everlasting love” I am extremely disappointed!

I have reached the conclusion that I have not yet experienced true love but rather “lust” the disillusioned deceptive version of love.