“27 year old single mum going through divorce” Sounds catching for an Internet dating site. I sigh as I wonder how my childhood dreams of prince charming turned out to be an ex drug dealer, ex prisoner who was 17 years older than me with 6 kids by two different women? How naive I was at 18 letting him leave his then fiancee and 4 little children to move into my very own new flat which I myself had only had for 2 months. Actually, he had just turned up on my doorstep with his suitcases, and me been me, I let him in.

In return to my kind gesture he soon found out how easily led I was and got me hooked on smoking cannabis everyday. Then the ecstasy pills came, followed by speed and then cocaine. All was done on a regular basis throughout our 7 years together. In the end, this was the reason I left almost two years ago now, I came to my senses and realised what I was doing was wrong. I grew up. He on the other hand was still a 44 year old man thinking he was peter pan.

How is it that no matter how strict we are brought up, it makes no difference to the choices we make in later life, the paths we choose to take. If we’re all so easily affected by society then what will my  daughters choices be like? Will she become part of the drug life? Or even worse, the gang culture? Will she see that as “the cool thing to do, dangerous and exciting” like I did the drugs? Which brings me to the question, does it matter how strict we are with our children or is it all in the genes anyway?

I decided to leave the dating for a while and concentrate on my daughter.