There was a time, so long ago, where I could remember life. It was like the first color television, like buttered popcorn, and full-flavored ranch dressing; gone, no more. Replaced with worry, deceit, pain, nepotism, abuse, and money. How does this happen? How does one become so tainted, so full of avarice and self-loathing. How do I look at myself in the mirror. Living 3 lives is harder than living 1 by 3 times, simply put, and mathematically obvious, but what is the measured and calculable weight of morality? Does it stack of to a 5lb brick of 100-dollar bills? A house? A human being? I have had to kill myself 4 times, but I keep coming back as a darker, more intellectually profound, yet menacingly dark figure hellbent on my own destruction. I am going to kill myself. As many times as it takes, until the decay is no more, until I can become no darker, no more dead, closer to Hell itself…Paradise.

Disclaimer- The above-mentioned ravings and writings are those of fiction, and not my feelings at all. Have no worries all!-Miguel