4/24/11

So this is the first entry in my new online journal.  I had my own website before on google, but google pretty much raped the html and animations with it’s new formatting so I didn’t renew my subscription.  It’s kind of weird how a lot of the writing is just gone, deleted to cyberspace and I don’t even miss it.  These words I won’t miss either, but it’s the act of writing them that I have to do.  It’s something I just randomly have the urge to do.  I was looking online at how presidents age so much faster during their presidency.  One scientist said it was because they lose all their friends or don’t have time for them.  He said that your friends are the ones you go to in order to relieve stress, to talk through your own problems etc.  I guess I just feel like this writing is better than talking about my issues problems and hurdles through friends.  I don’t want to hear what you have to say or wait for my turn to speak.  I get frustrated enough when people misinterpret my stuff or even worse, use it against me later in some annoying misquote.  So here it is.   My writing.  It feels louder when it’s on the net.

So I’m currently pretty disgusted with myself.  I have played computer games for like 3 days straight.  It happens when I feel like I’m in a rut, and I pretty much am.  I need a computer programmer to work with me on trading programs.  The problem is, it needs to be someone I can trust, and lives nearby and basically has the same objectives.  One of my friends has a guy like that, but that’s his connection, I need my own…. and I don’t know where/how to start.  My girlfriend says New York is all about who you know, and it’s such a daunting task starting from knowing 3 people and working to 300.  She says a good way would be working at a trading place, I don’t want to go to work with a tie.

I also want to clean up my room, it’s like been an objective for a while, but it hasn’t really been improved since my last push to unpack all the boxes I brought to my new room at my new place.  There’s still clothes on the floor and junk that needs to be thrown out.  I think I still feel paralyzed by past friends.