Love, love, love. How do you define ‘love’? It is pretty difficult to define it. It is very objective and somehow confusing and frustrating. For some, it could be caring for someone so much more than yourself or it could mean having to do anything for that person’s happiness, or maybe the desire to be desired. But however we define it, we know that it is ‘love’ this thing we feel.

            It’s the month of February, the month of hearts and love. It’s all about love, gifts and wonderful memories to build. People eagerly await this day in February when they can express their heartfelt emotions to those who give meaning to their lives. But before planning all these, let’s try to classify our partners  into the kind of lover that they are according to their personality and attitude towards love.

            Dance-Away Lover. The dance-away lover is someone who shows expertise at wooing but is afraid of permanent commitment so the love easily fades away. They can’t commit especially for a long-term relationship. Their relationship could only last for approximately six months up to three years because they believe that love will never last and will eventually fail in time. So, this lover tends to have many relationships jumping from one love affair to another.

            Anxious Ingénue/ Beginner Lover. This kind of lover is so insecure. They rush into romances without honestly evaluating the partner. They are dragged by the influence of friends or relatives. But as the relationship goes on, they begin to realize their mistake and could possibly end up in either falling in love or falling out of love.

            Fragile Lover. This fragile lover is a weak one. They find a partner in life to depend on because they are scared of life’s obstacles that makes them feel helpless and hopeless that they seek a partner who can protect and take care of them.

            Pleaser Lover. They are the kind of lover that lives to please others and expect nothing in return. They are somewhat called ‘martyrs’. They are afraid of failures, so they are just contented of seeing their lover happy, because their lovers happiness is also their happiness. The people pleaser often puts other people time and needs before their own.

            Selfish Lover. These kinds of lovers are often the complete opposite of the Pleaser Lovers. They love attention and often times make big shows of caring for other people. However, if no one is there to see this then the show is over. Selfish lovers are often hiding something they are very ashamed of as well.  Giving makes them feel out of control and threatened as they worry that the reason for their shame will be revealed. The result of being a selfish lover is often either to find an extraordinary giver who can tolerate them and this keeps the selfish lover in an unthreatened mode.

            Tough-Fragile Lover. They appear to be tough, self-assured, and secured on the outside but inside of them is a self-doubting and in need of a stronger partner for support. Their kind acts like they need no one, but if support is given, they are offended. They are actually those kinds that strangely shift from being a warm, charming and pleasant companion to being an angry, demanding and aggressive partner.

            From the above descriptions it is obvious that most of these lovers change as the romance develops. Meaning, it’s within the lovers to control their relationship to last long. Remember, love isn’t just about how you feel in your heart but how the mind keeps on telling you that you’ll forever love and keep that person.