“Do you know how I feel?”

Silence.

“You know that I couldn’t live without you right?”  *Pause*  “I feel the need to tell you now, after all these years.  I love you, but in a strange way.  It is not passionate, nor friendly.  It is something in between I think.  Does such a love exist?  I don’t think it’s supposed to.” *Laughs* “I’m such a freak.”

~Time~

“I held it in for so long; forced myself to bury it deep inside.  I convinced myself that it wasn’t supposed to be this way.  It came back, in little flashes, and greatly annoyed me.  But eventually, I let it fade, for it seemed you were truly in love with another.”

-Recall.  Blur.  -Focus.

“But then we felt closer, the feelings smacked into me like a bus.  I was sure I was just confused; deprivation of real affection caused me to be that way.  So eventually it went back, along with my logic, that it would never be, you would never see me as such.”

Ages

“And why should you?!  I’m sure you’re way too busy noticing far off girls and little ones near to even take a second glance my way.  That doesn’t bother me.  It does.  But how?  In what way can fluid pain harm me?  You can talk to them sure.  You can even go on adventures and have fun with them.  I just assumed too much of myself.  My influence on you is not as great as yours is on me.  Will it ever change?”  *Sigh* “Beats me.”

Cracks…change…promise.

“I need to make more guy friends.  But I feel that none will compare to you.  They would simply be the shadows that make me smile.  You are the true light that makes me laugh.  I cannot follow you where you have gone.  When it happens, I don’t know how I will react.  I’ll probably be ok.  But not the same.  What would have happened?  I dream too much.  My fantasy-filled thoughts were more enjoyable than reality.  Maybe I’ll be able to visit them afterwards.”

 Finish

“Farewell dear one.  I’m so very glad you lived within my life.”