Growing up, i was taught to always stand by my decisions…i was told to never abandon my responsibilities….

I thought id always feel the same…i thought i’d always do the same things…but, i didnt…i do not want to…

For the past 24 years of my life, i lived to please other people, to do what they want…i studied hard to be appreciated…i worked hard to support people and assume responsibilities that weren’t mine. Come to think of it, after 24 long years of being the good daughter…the good sister…the best girlfriend….

It was just a few months that i realized how less appreciated i was…how after doing everything for my family, they didn’t think it was enough…after giving everything to my love, that he thought he wanted someone else..

i realized, i had to pause…i had to stop….

years and years of hard work and obedience…left me without anything but, a sad heart…a confused mind and ambivalent feelings…

i’m lost and i’m tired…

Yesterday, i was watching cartoons and saw this character who was making decisions through papers inside a cookie…it was after a few minutes , that i realized that he was using fortune cookies. He picked out one cookie from the jar after another…still wasn’t happy with the fortunes he got…he even went all the way back to the store, to pick out more and more fortune cookies and get the fortune that he wanted…

Just the same…i thought of doing it for myself –hoping i’d get good fortunes this time…i got one box of fortune from swiss baker and wala!!!

it gave me my first fortune —-”do not under estimate what you’re capable of doing, you are made for great things” —-believe it or not, that paper made me happy…it made me feel that somehow, i was doing something good…

It was my first good fortune from a fortune cookie and i’m wishing for more…