There comes a time when you meet a nice friend and you start to believe that the relationship could evolve. Not into a dating relationship but into, what I term, a best friend relationship. I discovered single-handedly that when a friend isn’t comfortable with you that they don’t like to talk to you much even if you provide them the opportunity to talk to you. Yesterday afternoon, my friends and I went to go to the campus food court to site, eat and catch up on how we are enjoying this quarter since we hardly see each other. I was editing my Crush column when I noticed that everyone was hardly talking to one another. Naturally, the thing I can’t stand is when my friends don’t talk and we listen to other people talk. Therefore, I was about to say something when someone asked me, “What are you working on?” I replied by telling them all about my blog since the campus newspaper won’t post my column.

I then added on, “It was originally going to be titled Am I Thin Yet? because I think that people only talk to other people based on superficiality instead of a person is an average Joe/Jane and may have a great personality. One of my friends, being very out spoken, happened to mention that it is actually my fault/ or to clarify the persons fault for not attending social events, etc. I didn’t understand so I asked her to clarify. She replied and continued to talk about that just because someone is thinner or prettier doesn’t necessarily mean that they want to talk to other people. She paused and I asked her, “The thing is that I feel nervous talking to people because I feel that they won’t like me or not want anything to do with me”.

Actually the thing was that I know that people aren’t willing to accept someone into their clique until you prove yourself worthy of joining. Call me crazy but I think that it is how society functions. N-E-Wayz, going back a bit, sorry for the side track note, my friend stated that the other people may feel the same way. She then said something that made me wonder that perhaps I am right. She said, “I mean look at me. I talk to people but because I put myself out there”. I didn’t get it. Why use herself as an example? I mean, she is this beautiful girl with smarts, great personality, and …thin. I’m not trying to offend her but I couldn’t grasp the notion/concept of what she was trying to say. All I could think about was that somehow I was right about the way people react to superficiality compared to a great personality.

After we all finished talking and eating, we went our separate ways. However, I couldn’t let go about what was had been said. More importantly I couldn’t let go the notion that she was mostly my friend’s friend. Therefore, I began to wonder about friendships with a friend’s friends. As one begins to explore their friends’ friends, when is it not okay to meet them? In other words, if you friend had a friend and she/he hardly talked to you and when she/he did, they would say something that would make you question about why you are hanging around them? Perhaps, we tolerate it because we are intrigued about how someone treats us and we wonder why they are like that towards us. Or, perhaps it is because we know that friend is a very good friend to your friend and so you try to appease them in any way?

I begin to wonder about friendship and people, there should be a saying about boundaries or barriers that people put up to protect themselves from others. “Maybe walls weren’t made to be torn down”. I don’t know. I’ll leave that to you to come up with one. Well, I shall leave you with that to ponder because it can be another blog/ column someday.