I watch a lot of “reality” television and I find it to be a great escape from what I know as “real”. I find that watching these so-called “reality” shows is the perfect escape from my own real life. Sadly, there are times when my own reality is far more painful than what is portrayed on television.

Seeing the “Real Housewives” of the various places makes me wonder how people can live such superficial existences. Why would anyone want to be a Jill Zarin or a Vicki or a Tamra? They appear to have all of the material trappings of the rich and content, but in fact, have nothing but shallow relationships and a deep need for attention.

Watching “The Biggest Loser” makes me wonder why any human being would put themselves through such an arduous and painful experience, even risking their lives at times to achieve the physical perfection that they apparently see as a be all and end all in their lives.  Does losing weight really make all of your problems disappear? Does it take away the reason why you became obese in the first place?

Watching a man or woman thrust into a crowd of single people trying to find the “One” makes me wonder how desperate they must be and how inadequate their ability is in real life to find a partner.

It all boils down to a couple of things; money and television exposure and probably has very little to do with any sort of “reality” at all.

Many of us face real situations in our lives that would put these over-hyped, staged predicaments to shame. We just don’t have cameras following us around 24/7 top record our every grimace and tear.

Last Friday morning I received a telephone call from a very real detective who informed me that a long-time friend had been found dead in his home after being in there for a month. His rented home was being foreclosed, the power and water had been turned off and he had no phone or car. He had been a very successful attorney at one time and what they found didn’t even resemble the man he once was. A corpse, decaying beyond recognition with a cluttered mess surrounding his body and a wallet with my name in it.

I couldn’t be of much help to the detective since I had no idea of where my friend’s family members were or if they even existed. I had last heard from him sometime after Christmas and it was apparent that he was severely depressed and in need of help. I replied to his email in the best way that I knew how; I tried to tell him that things would get better and that he should “hang in there”. I didn’t know his address because he refused to give it to me and I had no other way to contact him other than via email. When his power was cut off I had no way to contact him at all and no way to let anyone know that he might be in danger.

Now, it’s too late and my friend died all alone. What more could I have done? I should have tried harder to touch base with him, to extract information, to offer him some sort of solace from his pain. No camera was following him or me. No magic solution presented itself to stop the his lonely death.

To me, this is “reality” with a capital R. He will not be renewed for another season nor will I have another chance to make things right. No reunion show will allow us to discuss our shortcomings or figure out a way to do things differently. This is reality that is real.

No roses, no trips to the Hamptons, no grand prize at the end if we survive the voting process. NOTHING…but reality.