I did your mom…………….a favor by making her a sandwich.

I am going to play a board game with my siblings to create happy family memories. Just kidding. I’m taking a nap.

I remember when I had my first beer.

Rosa Parks didn’t call shotgun.

I am going to do something meaningful and important with my life. Starting tomorrow, of course.

If I do not like a certain ethnicity does that make me racist or just prejudice? Asians need not reply.

I have been doing drive-bys all of my life, except the bullets are newspapers and the car is my bike.

Rosy O’Donell=Super hot delicious

9 times out of 10 I know exactly what my status should be. This is not one of those times.

TeeHee

I like to quote popular songs on my status so that people think I’m hip.

I don’t like Jews today. Maybe tomorrow.

Best Word Ever: Dangly.

I like to do coke. I like diet coke better, though.

I use Cash for Gold all the time.

Sometimes I like to where cutoff jeans and dance to Ricky Martin.

Adding one little letter can make all the difference: shampoo vs shampoop.

I wonder if the magic bullet is as good as the commercials say it is.

I just joined the mighty ducks fan club.