You throw them all out after about a week.

The “set it and forget it” rotisserie? You can do that! So you set it, forgot it and ended up eating charcoal for dinner…

OxyClean®? What a great idea to use oxygen for the removal of grease from your stovetop. Right, you’d get better results blowing on dirt and stains because that’s just as effective as the oxygenating bubbles that supposedly strip away such “stubborn stains” from clothes and surfaces…

Cold Heat®? I Burned myself twice on this supposed instantly cooling soldering iron. No, I didn’t have anything to solder, I just thought it would be neat to play with it and do what the gal in the commercial did…

And how about those great services?

Work at home and earn $15,000 bucks a month! Really? All I do is pay $9.95 for shipping and handling and you tell me how to make 15 grand every 30 days? That sounds fair…

Microsoft®…

Whew! Good thing it stopped my progress to give me an error message telling me there was no error…

The presidency…

I know it’s a stretch to say presidential hopefuls provide a service, but I have to share this with you because, well, they’re supposed to serve us.

In his book, Dreams from My Father Barrack Obama admits to smoking grass and taking a little cocaine. And the only reason he didn’t try heroin is because he didn’t like the guy selling it.

Rudy Giuliani paraded his mistress in front of his wife, announced his divorce on national television before telling his family and cross dresses… not that there’s anything wrong with that.

John McCain had always claimed he was Episcopalian but when campaigning in North Carolina, he suddenly became a Baptist.

In a 1992 issue of Ron Paul’s newsletter, Ron Paul Survival Report, it said that government should lower the age at which children are tried as adults citing that some, “black males age 13… are as big, strong, tough, scary and culpable as any adult,” and “unbelievably fleet-footed.” But don’t worry if you support him, he said those comments were not his and written by a “guest writer” in his newsletter.

Hilary Clinton threw what was left of a cup of coffee in the face of a Marine guard at a White House function when he refused to leave his post to top off her java.

This just goes to prove a point: no matter where you go. No matter what you do. No matter for whom you vote. You leave yourself open to the distinct possibility of having a very bad day because so little is within your control.

It is imperative that you preserve the tiny parts of your days that you can actually command by taking your kids to the park for a nice lunch or playtime. Don’t have kids? Take your spouse or significant other out for the same. Don’t have a spouse or significant other? Take a therapeutic stroll on your own through a park or maybe go for a drive in the country. Don’t own a car or live near a park? Well then, there’s always the bar… just don’t go home and order the whisk that doubles as tongs, trust me, they couldn’t pick up a dust bunny or effectively mix air.