I’ve spent this Valentine’s Day taking pictures of cute heart shaped cakes, pizza, and even a steak and sending them out to people I love. This day is full of pink, red, and purple hearts, little teddy bears, and various cuddly and cute things. It’s great and wonderful, cutesy love is a fun thing and it has it’s time and place. But that’s not what defines love.

I distinctly remember sitting in my dad’s red Chrysler when I was little and listening to his CDs. They were what defined my musical understanding then and one lyric I remember very well. It was from the Small Town Poets and they say, “If you let me love you we’ll sit here and cry.” Hearing that recently reminds me that love is not only cute but messy.And when love is messy you can find the greatest expressions of it.

The most pure, true, and real love isn’t always expressed in adorable gifts and trinkets, but can be found in the tears. It’s the moments when love isn’t fun, when it hurts, that the full measure of it is revealed. There are those I will weep for today, messy love. There are others who get cute pictures and messages. But everyone can have this.