You will go to jail if you do the following:

1.       You will demand to talk to FBI agents Mulder and Scully.

2.       You will ask one of your hostages to hold your gun while you go to the toilet.

3.       You will allow one hostage to go to the toilet. If he does not come back you will send three more hostages to check on him.

4.       You will release hostages and then demand your requirements to be completed.

5.       You will tell hostages the building is mined and that if they try to get out it will explode. Later you will remember you forgot to lock your car and will go to do it.

6.       You will take your garage remote instead of bomb remote.

7.       You will tell the negotiator you will rather die of gas than release hostages.

8.       After losing a game of Black Jack you will give your gun to a hostage.

9.       You will run away crying if one of hostages calls you a meaner.

10.   You will ask a negotiator to call your fiancé and tell her this is all a joke and that you want to marry her.

You will get your hostages back with holes in their heads if:

1.       You will ask the kidnapper if he wants to go for a cup of coffee with you after everything is over.

2.       While listening to kidnapper’s request, you will start yelling: “ALWAYS YOU, YOU AND YOU! WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?! I HAVE THEM TOO!”.

3.       When the kidnapper calls, you will yell to your colleges: “HEY, TAKE ONE BIG MEXICAN PIZZA AND A SNICKERS FOR ME!”.

4.       You will show up drunk and instead of negotiating you will sing Y.M.C.A.

5.       You will point the amount of taxes and documents required so he could get his requested M-15.

6.       You will tell the kidnapper, that if someone would want to make a film about this hostage drama, his role would be given to Neil Patrick Harris.

7.       You will tell the kidnapper it would be cool to see some hostage falling from 20th floor.

8.       You will tell the kidnapper that if he wants you to negotiate with him any further, he must be circumcised.

9.       When he agrees to release hostages you will tell him being such a weakling won’t  get him on the news.