That was year ago, when a stranger was met. Simple, prevalent and aloof… I seemed to be the macro guru. I take good care. I shared every experience, elaborate all edges of expertise. No feelings at all; only good intentions of training the newcomer.

Days passed by. We get along. We eat and leave together, just like the other. Weeks went through and altogether we solve problems. Months manifested and we get closer and closer. We use to tell secrets. We use to play with lies. I used to show how much I cared. The other is fun of doing sacred art.

I learn to treat this lad as my best friend. Best among my friends, for his the closest boy ever. Be it to dancing, singing, swimming and playing badminton, we used to jive. Exchanging compact discs and brilliant ideas was then a routine.

Everything was okay! Other friends were proud of having each other on a single group. We used to dream of having this feeling forever, projecting the future with thoughts of helping and supporting one another. Now, that was a dream that needs to be forgotten.

How could this feeling be? I tend to develop. A feeling I never asked; a longing I never planned and imagined. I’m so in love, so naïve… Just when I thought I will never fall and suddenly shit happens.

I prayed harder, much stronger than the usual. The uncommon pray of the other. I hate what I’m sensing. I then tried to hide my feelings in fear of losing myself and my best friend. But, I was so weak to bear the situation on my own.

Through text messaging, I told my admiration, my unparalleled hopeless love. That was every feeling and every detail of me. I even emphasized that I was not expecting anything in return. I know that it is a sin and it will never be. I just need to get through of this feeling and move on. How could an angel fall for a demon? That was what’s running in my mind.

I was just thinking of next life. Dreaming and hoping by then I will be loved, for maybe there I’m a beautiful woman. Then, I will forever long for this lad and make him mine. Forever will share the divine beauty of love.

I was taken for granted. He thought I was just kidding. Lying is an art. That is what we believed in, thinking as if everything is a white lie. But, I insisted and I turned what the truth is. We are not telling of false applications, resignations and migrations anymore. This is the very true me.

I was expecting favourable responses from soon to be Priest. Unexpectedly, I failed. I never thought of impacts and consequences of this confession. These were some notable and hurting replies of my forever endeavour.

I can’t take it! Whenever, I think about your feelings… To tell you the truth, I don’t like that. As in I really don’t like. Now, you know my reason.

Why are you sorry? I’m not angry! It’s just that I think we can never bring back the past. Okay! Let’s be casual and professional. Is that okay? God bless!

I’m not the one to decide. You are the one who’s hiding something, not me.

Hey! This is the best chance for you to move. It will never be what you wanted to. Open your heart to others. There were lots of them…

Every line of his words hurts me well. It hits my swollen heart. I was just trying to make him understand the situation. But, he refused and he just wants to get rid of me.

 Is it fair to just forget me? It is very unfair! More than anything else, I was a friend and he was my best friend! I thought he will be there to help me. But, it turns out that he brings me down more. He courted somebody else, thinking it’s the best chance for me to move on. No! It’s not.  An angel hurts a demon to infinite sorrow. That was too much…

I was thinking that it will be just the same. No special treatment, no greater feelings than friendship. It’s just a feeling that was said and it was just said. But, I was cursed and he doesn’t even care. Don’t even allow a very short conversation. It just ends there. Oh my God! It destroys everything. It kills me!

How an angel could hurt a demon? That is when a demon dreams for a love star. A demon should learn to live with it. He should never ask more than what is due to him.

Now, it is me who needs to understand. The angel always Sheen and the demon will forever hind. I’m a demon? Yes, maybe I am…