Is it possible that there’s another question to ask and answer than “Am I an alcoholic?” I see a different question to be asked / answered – “Am I a person of worth?” Has it been assumed that the answer to that question will be answered by friends? And in order to get the answer, “Yes, I am a person of worth,” has it been assumed that one must “do” the expected things that friends are doing? What I’ve read here leads me to believe that “doing” what friends expect still left feelings of insecurity, doubt and led to situations of personal failures. Drinking didn’t bring “worth” in the form of popularity, esteem, riches, freedom, health… Instead it added to the opposite of these being the norm in life. It is my thought that everyone has an inner desire, ache, longing to be a person of worth. And the secret to finding that worth is to find relationship with the creator of your being who understands and knows what is needed to fill the inner, empty pitcher so that life can overflow as a “spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The story that tells of a woman who has had 5 husbands and currently lived with a man to whom she was not married (could she have been seeking “worth”?) is told in Chapter 4 of the book of John in the Bible. Now if you’re tempted to say, “Don’t give me that preachy, churchy stuff!!!”, let me ask if you’ve ever tried it in its genuine form? It’s “worth” investigation, consideration and embrace.

thank you for being so honest.

I think you were young and thought you would live forever, however thats not true as you found out. ‘Drink’ is evil if you let it be but I think you have realised that you need to control it, not it control you.