I have just read an article called “How to kill trolls” and quite frankly I was appalled that anybody would even consider harming one of the rare creatures. There was I expecting information on this rare beast and all I got was a load of piffle about people who were being a little rude. Well! Let me tell you, that real Trolls are alive and well and living under a bridge near you. The common misconception is that Trolls are dangerous, this is not true, they are in fact extremely shy creatures who rarely venture out during daylight hours, it is only in winter months, when food is scarce, do they risk being seen.

Trolls live in small family groups and make their homes or “Trollery” underneath bridges.  As most of you know already Trolls suffer from an almost incurable and chronic disorder known as trolls foot disease, this manifests itself at quite an early age, the main symptom being a fetid smell from between the toes followed by a fungal infection. The Trolls combat this disease quite well simply by washing their feet on a regular basis, something that some of us would be wise to consider. The Troll family usually consists of a male, a female and up to three young, the young (known as Trollettes) are cared for by their parents until puberty but sometimes they have been known to stay at home for much longer.

Contrary to popular belief Trolls rarely kill anything, their diet consists mainly of  litter, for example fizzy drink cans, polystyrene burger boxes and the Trolls absolute favourite the pizza box, they have been known to raid dustbins in rural areas when the weather is particularly harsh but as a rule they keep a low profile.

These gentle giants really don’t deserve the bad press they have received, alright they are not pretty or cuddly and they smell like a sumo wrestlers jock strap but look at the good they do,  like cleaning up the litter that we leave behind. Ok if you want to kill these creatures off all you have to do is pick up as much litter as possible and eventually they will all starve, then this magnificent animal will be yet another to become extinct. If on the other hand you would like to maintain their population you can help by throwing any rubbish you have over any bridge you come across and remember that pizza boxes are an absolute favourite, and you never know it could be your pizza box that gets you a glimpse of this shy but smelly critter.