Just imagine, you’re sitting at home, watching TV, flipping through the channels. “Breaking News!” the anchor shouts. “Zombie Apocalypse! The dead now walk among the living. Say goodbye to life and hide in your basement-the only chance of your survival is….wait….you can’t survive. The zombies will feast on your organs and you will join the walk of the dead. It’s been a pleasure being your anchorman, goodbye loyal fans, hope you enjoyed life.” You hear a loud groan from out your window. Oh my gosh! The anchorman isn’t crazy! Zombies strut down the lane, will  people run for their lives. 

Well, for starters, that anchorman was crazy, because YOU CAN SURVIVE! I have the top ten tips for surviving that one special occasion when the dead will rise.

RULE #1 CLEAR THE ROOM

Do not, I repeat, do not stay in your basement, or any room for that matter. Just think, you’re in a closed room, and all of a sudden a brain-hungry zombie enters the room, along with four or five others. OK, you managed to live a little longer in your basement, but now that the zombies have located your hiding spot, then you really do have no chance to survive. The best plan- have four or five people with you, each with a weapon (for defense), and each person will stand in a corner, and (if you have a fifth person, or more than that) one will stand in the center, and all the rest (if needed) will cover any other areas.

RULE #2 NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON THE ENEMY

So let’s say you took my first advice, and you didn’t go into any room. Now where are you? Oh, great, no rooms means no house, no house means you’re outside. It’s just like a haunted house, but real. Zombies can appear from the most unlikely, unexpected places. So, my advice, have three people, all of you back to back, each with a weapon (for defense), rotating slowly and ensuring all eyes are facing outwards, and preventing a surprise attack.

RULE #3 THE FINE LINE

The perfect way of defense against a hoard of zombies. First, form two lines of armed people, one in front of the other. Have the front line shoot at the zombies while the back line holds, then, when the first line runs out of ammo, you switch, and the front line reloads.