I have always been an outsider, my whole life. I was the weirdest kid in high School. When all the kids in wore branded clothes, I was head over heels for torn jeans, black Rock band t-shirts with skulls and disturbing pictures, leather boots and converse all star shoes.

I have always been an outsider, my whole life. I was the weirdest kid in high School. When all the kids in wore branded clothes, I was head over heels for torn jeans, black Rock band t-shirts with skulls and disturbing pictures, leather boots and converse all star shoes. I was an anti-sport guy, when the rest of the school joined football team, basketball team… Etc…Etc. When everyone was going crazy over gay boy bands like backstreet Boys, boyzone, Westlife I was lost in my own world which includes Kiss, Led Zeps, Black Sabbath, Metallica, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Slayer, Nirvana and so on. When it comes to ‘how you define sexy’, kids of my age that time were head over heels for Britney, Christiania…. But unfortunately these pop princesses were not for me. Instead I used to get boner thinking about Joan Jett, Lita Ford, Ann Wilson and Nancy Wilson of the ‘Heart, Jan Kuehnemund and Jenna Sanz-Agero of the Vixen.

That was longtime back….College was fun. College was a place where I feel I was home. In college no one is an outsider, unless you don’t booze, dope and attend every class.

As all good things has to come to an end, mine came when I graduated from college and started earning my living in this sick, greedy infested world called the ‘Corporate world’. As a born rebellion and part cave man (actually I should have joined a revolutionary group) I had a tough time adjusting with the formal, well behaved world of ‘Corporate world, where you have to say sorry and thank you every ten second. Even my boss had a tough time taming me, but unfortunately he could not. It takes more than just a MBA degree to tame a born rebellion, part cave man and a die hard metal fan. I guess he stopped trying because he does not give me that look whenever I wear my uniform (black Rock band t-shirts with skulls and disturbing pictures) to work.

It’s not easy to be an outsider. Right from high school to the corporate world, I fought with everything and everyone that came my way to kill the real me (born rebellion, part cave man and a die hard metal fan). The situation here in New Delhi is no different. The real battle field is here. When ever I go out with my over silky long hair let loose, wearing a torn jean and a black t-shirt, people stare at me as if I am from fucking Mars. The wise guys starts commenting, ‘why don’t you grow up’, ‘ be more responsible’, ‘be more mature’ and cut your hear, wear something formal… Come on. How is having long hair, wearing black t-shirts connected to being mature and responsible? Just flip through the history, you will find some of the world greatest human beings with long hair. Being responsible has nothing to do with Collar shirts.

Anyway, it’s tough to be an outsider but what is life if you don’t stand out from the rest.

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  • Rask Balavoine on Dec 10, 2009

    It’s even harder being an outsider who looks and dresses like everyone else but still can’t relate to what everyione else is doing, saying, wanting and thinking.

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